it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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