I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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