Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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