she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
