Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
