Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
