I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
