Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
