talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
