dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
