I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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