i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
