woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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