Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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