I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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