You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
