Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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