I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
