That's when you crack a 10am beer
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
