Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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