Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
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