You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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