Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
