i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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