i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
