A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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