i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
