Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
