Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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