when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
