if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
