One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
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Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
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Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize