i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
