I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
