Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
