were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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