My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Randomize
