you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Dear god my vagina.
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