Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
