Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
