Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
A bitchslap is in order.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
