I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize