STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm like, not good at living.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
