im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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