They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
