My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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