My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
