I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
