If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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