if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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