Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Drunk is a universal language darling
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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