ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
