I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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