Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
50% drunk capacity currently
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
