the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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