dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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