I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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