I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
