This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
