2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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