Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
