: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
