My room smells like vodka and shame
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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