Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
MIDGETS
????
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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